ugh. (thursday)

This morning was difficult. I slipped a bit, but did manage to pull back and ultimately ended up with some good observations.

For the past two nights, I have had three hours of sleep. This made for a less than fully functioning mama this morning.

The boys were great. Gi did some whining at first, but once he had his raw oats with syrup, he recovered. Izzy had two courses. First, cereal straight from the jars in the closet. Next, a bowl of syrup when he discovered that Gi had finished the Oats.

For the most part, I did my thing and they did theirs. I was feeling a bit more pressure this morning from tiredness and also because we have to get the house ready to show tomorrow. So, cleaning was unavoidable today. I slipped into lecturing when they undid the cleaning I had done at one point, dumping the contents of the art closet on the floor. I lectured as I shoved (the operative word) everything back in. This led to a bit more interfering as I changed Izzy’s diaper without asking him and informed Gi that we would be leaving soon, whatever he had on his body. At this point I realized what I was doing, removed myself, and began packing up the car.

This seemed to move the action forward; Izzy joined me outside and, on one of my trips inside, Gi asked if I was going to put him into the car in what he was wearing (pullups and a t-shirt.) I said, “pretty soon,” and he scooted upstairs.

Not long after, we were on our way, on time.

Once in the car, they began to heckle me for their lunchboxes. I said no, thinking that they should live with the consequences of their semi-breakfast. They asked, and asked, and asked, and asked, and at that point my head was ready to explode.

I was feeling completely pushed and squeezed by the noise and the emotional angst, and then I realized what has been different for the past few days; that the biggest change I have noticed is the sense of space.

I recognized that, when heading into DNSN week, I gave myself permission to be late in the mornings, to live with mess, to expect chaos. This allowed me to relax about…. everything. Once I let all this go, it actually wasn’t difficult to let go of directing. The directing is about my perceived needs. Once those change, it’s not my first instinct. When I stop directing, everyone has more space. Interesting that when I let go of the need to control the mornings, we left relatively on time three out of four days.

Now, to tackle that niggly habit of reminding….

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Comments

Sarah says:

Hope sleep has come your way! I’m impressed you are doing DNSN when your house is on the market! There is no way I could do it – keeping our house tidy is impossible during this week! I like your thought about the sense of space – I think my kids feel the same when I back off for the week.
| Reply Posted 1 year, 7 months ago

tealara says:

Thanks for getting how tough this is! no sleep for the weary last night…. but the house is in good shape. We’ve become pretty proficient at the after-hours blitz when we have to show the house, and then I vacuum in the morning.

Actually, I think DNSN is helping during this stressful time (except perhaps at the moment of stress just before the showing.) It shifts my outlook enough to release some of the pressure that’s been building. I figure, I still have to parent, and it’s no fun when the energy in the house is all stressed and anxious.
| Reply Posted 1 year, 7 months ago